Normally, if you\u2019re just meeting someone, it\u2019s awkward if they cry in front of you. Maybe extra awkward if they\u2019re crying over a Zoom call and you can\u2019t hand them a tissue and mumble, \u201cSorry.\u201d But when I spoke with D\u00e1maris, it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was telling me of her experience growing up in the church and coming to a point where, like most Christian young people, she began asking a lot of questions about her faith and wondering if it was enough for her, the kind of questions that might freak out some parents. But that\u2019s not when she began to cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Raised by loving parents who are passionate about their faith, D\u00e1maris broke the stereotype of the wild, attention-craving pastor\u2019s kid. Her mom and dad taught her to love the church and its mission. She went to Pathfinders and memorized Psalms, reciting them up front at church. As a teen, she was part of church plays and choir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She told me it was at college that the questions and doubts about her faith began to surface. Though she remained involved in missional activities, she couldn’t help but wonder, I\u2019m doing all the right things, so why do I still feel empty? How come I don\u2019t feel at peace? Is this all there is to my faith? Why do we even go to church?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n She began to find answers to her questions that satisfied both her mind and heart.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n During the lockdown of 2020, in her small apartment, D\u00e1maris found she couldn\u2019t hide from her questions. The doubts she kept simmering on the back burner of her mind began to boil over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then one day she was scrolling through Instagram when she saw a friend reshared a post from ARISE, advertising 60 days of free access to the ARISE Online discipleship course. D\u00e1maris jumped on the offer and quickly fell in love with the curriculum. She began to find answers to her questions that satisfied both her mind and heart. But D\u00e1maris still wasn\u2019t crying at this point in the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Somewhere along the way, she stumbled on a sermon from Storyline Church on YouTube, Light Bearers\u2019 online church. She began to listen each week. One sermon in particular, \u201cIs God an Egomaniac?\u201d, moved her deeply. D\u00e1maris came to a point where she realized she was getting the answer to a deeper question her heart was asking (and perhaps you\u2019ve asked it too): is God mad at me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shame is the birthright of humanity, and, like we all do, D\u00e1maris carried shame and guilt for past mistakes. Did God have mercy for her? Was He holding her at a distance feeling angry? This is where D\u00e1maris began to cry, and it wasn\u2019t awkward because this is the experience of everyone who meets Jesus. As she listened to these messages, she told me that she realized she no longer had to run away from her shame or cover it with religious rituals. She knew God loved her. She couldn\u2019t lose His love by what she\u2019d done and she couldn\u2019t earn it back by everything she\u2019d been doing. God wasn\u2019t an angry tyrant who was waiting to send her to hell but is a loving Father who had already created grace for her before she had made any mistakes. More than an argument for why she should attend church, she found Someone who healed her soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cStoryline messages revealed to me who God is and answered a lot of questions. I lived my whole life without knowing who God is, and I\u2019m starting to know Him\u2014for real. Understanding God\u2019s love gave me peace. It moved me to think, \u2018I need to do something. Maybe there are a lot of people who are feeling like I felt.’\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The desire to share wasn\u2019t another religious ritual, one of many tasks to be checked off. She couldn\u2019t help it. She prayed, \u201cI\u2019m really grateful for this ministry. God, can You please let me help with something? I want to be a part of what they are doing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Months later, she found her answer when she saw a post on the Storyline Instagram account, asking if there was anyone who would be interested in becoming an online greeter for Storyline Church. She immediately sent in a request to join and soon became part of the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “It feels really good to know there are a lot of ways to talk to God and make Him part of our life using technology.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n When it came to facilitating an online church experience, it was important for the Light Bearers team that Storyline Church not be reduced to simply a watch-a-sermon type of experience. The goal was to minister. This meant praying online with those who requested it. D\u00e1maris was a little nervous at first. Would it be weird to pray online? Would it even be possible to \u201cminister\u201d to someone through a screen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it came to online prayer, she recalled how it felt:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The man I prayed with thanked me for what I\u2019d done. Through this experience, I discovered that this is another way to pray that is really awesome and it\u2019s real too. I was writing to him and feeling the words in my heart and asking God to guide me as I wrote. It was a new, great experience. It feels really good to know there are a lot of ways to talk to God and make Him part of our life using technology.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes young adults are told that in order to stay faithful to God at the end of time, they must have an answer for their faith. \u201cGiving an answer\u201d sometimes means being able to prooftext your way through a doctrine. While knowing doctrine is important, consider that if we are creatures created in the divine image, we are relational beings who are looking for relationally informed answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n D\u00e1maris wrestled with her faith, wondering what the point of specific spiritual disciplines were, but that wasn\u2019t the deepest question she needed answered. She needed to know God\u2019s posture toward her. She believed she was condemned. She thought others were happier than she was because they didn\u2019t carry the shame she did. She couldn\u2019t see any other way around it. How did she realize that wasn\u2019t true and that this was a faith she wanted?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBecause I fell in love with God and the way He sees me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019d like to worship with D\u00e1maris at Storyline Church, you can join her every Saturday at 11am PST on YouTube, Facebook, or at live.storyline.church. When you give to support Light Bearers, you\u2019re helping people like D\u00e1maris and countless others discover the beauty of God\u2019s love. If you haven\u2019t already, we invite you to consider partnering with us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Normally, if you\u2019re just meeting someone, it\u2019s awkward if they cry in front of you. 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