{"id":14234,"date":"2025-05-01T16:39:40","date_gmt":"2025-05-01T20:39:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/?p=14234"},"modified":"2026-03-10T17:55:26","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T21:55:26","slug":"impacting-lives-esmes-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/impacting-lives-esmes-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Impacting Lives: Esme\u2019s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Deconstruction<\/span><\/i> is a scary term for some believers. I think it\u2019s because they equate it with <\/span>deconversion<\/span><\/i>. According to Barna research,<\/span>1<\/span> though, roughly one-third of <\/span>practicing<\/span><\/i> Christians relate to the idea of deconstructing their faith. That means, roughly a third of faithful, church-going Christians have, to some degree, realized some of their beliefs weren\u2019t worth keeping and <\/span>stayed<\/span><\/i> in the church. Our friend Esme is one of those who stayed, and she made that decision partly because of the support of people like you.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, her good behavior was rooted in anxiety and a belief that she had to perform in order to earn God\u2019s favor.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Growing up, Esme was the low-maintenance kid at church. She didn\u2019t do drugs or drink. She enjoyed participating. However, this good behavior was rooted in anxiety and a belief that she had to perform in order to earn God\u2019s favor. If something went wrong in her life, she felt that she must not have prayed enough or done enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a teenager, this pressure eventually boiled over into questions about God\u2019s character: Why is the Old Testament so violent? How do we know God exists? And so on. After voicing her thoughts, she sensed that some thought she was rebellious. She was told she needed to \u201chave more faith.\u201d So, she pushed the questions to the back of her mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

The tipping point came when, after Esme got married, she and her husband moved to another city. Previously, church was an all-day commitment \u2014 worship, potluck, youth ministry \u2014 but at their new church, the service was short and everyone went home after. Suddenly, Esme wasn\u2019t constantly busy doing things <\/span>for God<\/span><\/i>, and she now had a lot of time to reflect on what she knew <\/span>about God<\/span><\/i>. Her questions resurfaced.<\/span><\/p>\n

What was left of her faith? Was it just this set of ideas that only increased her anxiety and fear? Was that even worth keeping?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Outside of her duties and social obligations at church, what was left of her faith? Was it just this set of ideas that only increased her anxiety and fear? Was that even worth keeping? She was angry at God for being so exacting and harsh.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Fast forward a couple of years, and a new assistant pastor at their church started a class using <\/span>Truth Link<\/span><\/i> Bible studies.<\/span><\/p>\n

After she read the first study, she was blown away: God was not an exacting, harsh judge?! He wasn\u2019t waiting for her to make mistakes? Jesus had been faithful <\/span>for<\/span><\/i> her? Bewildered and intrigued, she listened to sermons by David Asscherick and me. The false ideas she had about God were slowly torn down, and her anger dissipated.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a couple of years on this journey, Esme felt the Spirit tell her to start a Bible study. She had always wanted to study with others, but she believed God was such a stickler that there was no way she could host a good enough Bible study. Now, that picture of God was breaking down, and a new one was taking its place. She was learning so much about God\u2019s love and His grace; how could she keep it to herself? So, she posted on Facebook that she would be hosting a virtual Bible study. To her amazement, 15 women showed up.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Esme attended the ARISE Intensive in Texas, she cried because she saw again that someone was creating the space to ask the questions she\u2019d asked as a teenager. She continues to host Bible studies on mental and emotional health for women.<\/span><\/p>\n

Esme\u2019s experience is possible, in part, because people like you support Light Bearers financially. If you\u2019d like to help more people who are deconstructing false gospels, would you consider becoming a partner?<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cEx-Christians Aren\u2019t the Only Ones Deconstructing Faith,\u201d Barna, October 9, 2024, <\/span>https:\/\/www.barna.com\/trends\/ex-christians-deconstructing\/<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    Give Now<\/span> <\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Deconstruction is a scary term for some believers. I think it\u2019s because they equate it with deconversion. According to Barna research,1 though,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":14235,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-article"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Blogpost-May-Image.webp?fit=2560%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paAh8r-3HA","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/61"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14234"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15427,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14234\/revisions\/15427"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14235"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}