{"id":14239,"date":"2025-05-02T11:31:40","date_gmt":"2025-05-02T15:31:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/?p=14239"},"modified":"2026-03-10T17:26:03","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T21:26:03","slug":"you-need-boundaries-but-you-also-need-people-who-annoy-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/you-need-boundaries-but-you-also-need-people-who-annoy-you\/","title":{"rendered":"You Need Boundaries, But You Also Need People Who Annoy You"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my brother Nick was around six years old, he had a problem with saying things he didn\u2019t mean. And he would go hard. For example, one time he told me, \u201cI wish you weren\u2019t my sister.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She marched me, suitcase in hand, into Nick\u2019s room and announced that his wish had been granted! She was putting me up for adoption.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My mom heard him and decided to one-up him. Instead of washing his mouth out with soap like a normal boomer, she told me to pack some clothes. Then, she marched me, suitcase in hand, into Nick\u2019s room and announced that his wish had been granted! She was putting me up for adoption.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thankfully, Nick\u2019s eyes didn\u2019t glimmer with a lust for power like Gollum\u2019s as he held the ring. (I\u2019m not sure what she would\u2019ve done if he\u2019d offered to help me pack.) The bluff worked. Alarmed by Mom\u2019s overreaction, Nick quickly said something like, \u201cWell, uh, Mom, I like where your heart is, but <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> won\u2019t be necessary. Maybe you could just put her in a kennel or something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The other day, I was reading an article \u2014 well, watching an Instagram reel \u2014 and someone said, \u201cBeing annoyed is the price you pay for community.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Read that again.<\/span><\/p>\n

More than ever today, we crave close relationships, people who show up, a village. Yet so many people are still lonely. I wonder if this is because many of us have isolated ourselves from anyone who annoys or frustrates us.<\/span><\/p>\n

The rise in mental health awareness (which I am so grateful for), especially as it\u2019s communicated on social media, has been accompanied by an unintended and potentially damaging side effect: sometimes, therapy terms are misunderstood and misapplied. We encounter people who are occasionally irritating or flawed and we decide to avoid them completely, calling it a \u201cboundary.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is that if you get close enough to <\/span>anyone<\/span><\/i>, you\u2019ll find big flaws: micromanagers, gossipers, judgers, flakers, one-uppers \u2014 the list goes on. To be clear, I love boundaries. I\u2019m not saying we should tolerate abuse or dysfunction or even leave someone\u2019s irritating traits unaddressed. I am saying that if you cut out everyone who you find annoying, you will eventually find yourself alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hebrews 10:24\u201325 says, \u201c<\/span>Spur<\/span><\/i> one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A spur in your side is annoying. That micromanager, though, may be the person who faithfully shows up when you have to plan Vacation Bible School every summer. The overly sensitive person may be the one you need to hold you as you grieve a miscarriage. They may find they need <\/span>you<\/span><\/i>, despite your annoying traits. For the community you build, annoyance is a small price to pay.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my brother Nick was around six years old, he had a problem with saying things he didn\u2019t mean. And he would…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":14240,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-article"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Blog-Post-May-Devotional.webp?fit=2560%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paAh8r-3HF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/61"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14239"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15411,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14239\/revisions\/15411"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}