{"id":14267,"date":"2025-07-17T11:41:38","date_gmt":"2025-07-17T15:41:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/?p=14267"},"modified":"2026-03-10T17:54:32","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T21:54:32","slug":"escaping-the-blame-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/escaping-the-blame-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Escaping the Blame Game"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cJesus said, \u2018Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing\u2019\u201d (Luke 23:34).<\/span><\/p>\n

These words have often unsettled me. I understand the first part, \u201cFather, forgive them.\u201d But then comes, \u201cThey don\u2019t know what they\u2019re doing\u201d? <\/span>Really, Jesus?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Jesus sees not only their actions but also their condition, not just what they\u2019ve done but what they lack: the nurturing and guidance they should have received to become whole.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Didn\u2019t they choose to crucify Him and cry for blood? It feels, at first, like Jesus is letting them off the hook. There\u2019s no remorse or repentance? Just forgiveness?<\/span><\/p>\n

But from the cross, Jesus sees something I often miss. He sees not only their actions but also their condition, not just what they\u2019ve done but what they lack: the nurturing and guidance they should have received to become whole.<\/span><\/p>\n

What if, as a Church, we saw one another as Jesus does? What if we stopped viewing those we\u2019re in conflict with as threats and began relating to them as members of the same struggling, growing family? What if we were to escape the blame game and begin speaking the language of love and maturity instead of the language of accusation and fear, which is foreign to the tongue of Christ?<\/span><\/p>\n

In <\/span>Developing a Mature Community<\/span><\/i>, Dr. Jim Wilder explains that humans are designed to grow through three stages of relational maturity: child, adult, and elder. Each stage has core tasks that, if neglected, leave us emotionally underdeveloped, regardless of our age or theological correctness.<\/span><\/p>\n

As children, we are meant to experience nourishment, joy, and rest, which shape our identity. We ask, \u201cAm I special? Am I loved?\u201d We learn the answer through seeing our caregivers\u2019 delight in us and by being soothed in their arms. But many never receive this foundation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mature adults take responsibility for themselves <\/span>and<\/span><\/i> others. Living with purpose and grace under pressure, their guiding question becomes, \u201cCan I remain myself while serving others well?\u201d Adults allow suffering to help them grow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Elders\u2014the final stage\u2014let go of ego and fear. Peacefully, they ask, \u201cWhat legacy of blessing can I leave behind?\u201d Elders offer presence, wisdom, and self-giving love. Jesus modeled this on the cross.<\/span><\/p>\n

When He prayed, \u201cFather, forgive them,\u201d Jesus wasn\u2019t denying sin\u2019s reality; He was acknowledging the depth of our immaturity. He saw the unformed hearts behind the hostile actions and responded with compassion\u2014<\/span>not<\/span><\/i> condemnation.<\/span><\/p>\n

What if the church grew up into that kind of community? A safe place where correction feels like care, not control? Where brokenness invites nurture, not shame? Where forgiveness is the default, not the last resort? Where we grow together, not just in doctrine, but in love?<\/span><\/p>\n

On second thought, I\u2019m glad Jesus prayed as He did, because, from Calvary\u2019s vantage point, He looked beyond the Roman soldiers, the Pharisees, and the mob. He looked at me\u2014ill-formed, misshapen, and immature\u2014and proclaimed my forgiveness! It\u2019s for you too. Now let\u2019s grow.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cJesus said, \u2018Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing\u2019\u201d (Luke 23:34). These words have often unsettled me….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":14270,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-article"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/BlogPost_JulyDevoBlogPost.webp?fit=2560%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paAh8r-3I7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/61"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14267"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15425,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14267\/revisions\/15425"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lightbearers.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}