The inception of the holiday season here in the U.S. is signaled not by the first snap of autumn chill or falling leaves but by the decor section of your nearest big box store. Summer’s grip has barely loosened before the ubiquitous marketing machinery sets into motion advertisements, jingles, scents, and flavors (I’m looking at you, pumpkin spice), all meant to prime our subconscious to part ways with our cash in exchange for participation in the season’s rituals.
For many, the holidays feel like a perfect storm of stressful expectations, complex family dynamics, and the lingering shadow of grief and loss. If you find yourself approaching the season with a healthy dose of cynicism, you’re not alone. Surviving the holidays without letting them drain you emotionally or spiritually is possible. Here are three pointers for keeping your sanity (at least mostly) intact.
1. Manage Stressful Expectations by Setting Boundaries
The holidays come with an expectation that everything should be perfect—decorations, food, parties, gifts, and the mood itself. This perfectionism can trap us, the pressure turning joyful moments into burdens. If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, try setting some realistic boundaries.
Boundaries help curb unrealistic expectations for yourself and others. They allow you to participate in ways that don’t drain you. Remember, you don’t need to attend every event or prepare everyone’s favorite dish. Prioritize what truly matters; let go of the rest.
2. Navigate Complex Family Ties with Compassion and Margin
Family gatherings often highlight unresolved tensions and old patterns of behavior, making the holidays an emotional minefield. Whether it’s sibling friction, past tensions, or simply the stress of being around too many people for too long, cynicism can easily take over when you’re dreading these dynamics.
One way to cope is through a combination of compassion and margin. Compassion isn’t tolerating toxic behavior; it’s approaching situations with understanding—for yourself and others. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Praying for God’s compassion and reflecting on how Christ deals with your imperfections can ease the sting of complex family interactions.
Giving yourself margin means allowing yourself space. Give yourself permission to exit when needed or limit your time in difficult situations. God remembers our fragility (Psalm 103:14), so we should too.
Family gatherings often highlight unresolved tensions and old patterns of behavior, making the holidays an emotional minefield.
3. Attune to Someone Who Is Hurting
The final suggestion may seem counterintuitive, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to combat cynicism. Instead of retreating inward, consider focusing on someone who is struggling this holiday season. A grieving friend, a co-worker going through a hard time, or a lonely neighbor—reaching out to others, whatever their situation, can create healing connections.
The final suggestion may seem counterintuitive, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to combat cynicism.
To encourage this, we have a recommendation. If you’re so inclined, take a moment to write a heartfelt, encouraging note to someone who is hurting this season. It doesn’t need to be elaborate; a simple message can have a profound impact. By shifting your focus outward, you may find that your own holiday experience lightens.
So, whether you’re feeling a weight of anxiety, navigating family stress, or carrying grief’s heavy burden, we want you to know that we care for you and are so grateful that you are part of our community this holiday season. Every year, we’re amazed at how God has used this small ministry, even at our most cynical and chaotic, to bless so many. We know from experience that, as you move through this season, if you allow Him, God will use your situation to bring forth healing, purpose, and light—even through the mess.
Angelo Grasso
Angelo Grasso serves as Light Bearers’ Spiritual Care Director and ARISE instructor. An ordained minister and trained chaplain, Angelo is deeply passionate about exploring the intersection of brain science and spiritual growth across all stages of life. He is blessed by the companionship of his wife, Kathy, and their two children, Eli and Emma.
